Pauline's Happenings

I just had a big dinner, I’m sitting out here in the patio looking at the pool thinking how nice it would feel to jump in if I wasn’t feeling so stuffed………..lol It is my day off and I’ve been enjoying it while trying to get things done.

I ran to the post office today and got some things shipped to my family. Charles had read all 3 of the 4 Harry Potters I sent home with them. Heather is still reading one of them. So I had purchased the latest 2 book and sent them off. They started school today, so I’m not sure when he’ll get time to read them, but at least he’ll have them. =)

My 15 yr old god daughter, Cassie, (HOLY SHIT! That makes me feel old) called today. She had a rough summer visiting her biological father and had just got home and need someone different to talk to about it. She ended up seeing a side of him that we have always hinted at but never really told her about.

Sandi had never fully told her everything about what had happened between her and her father, just wanted her to grow up knowing him in her own way and knew that she would eventually see him for what he is. Sandi grew up not knowing her biological father and just didn’t want that to happen to her daughter, even though she would’ve been justified in not letting her know about him.

I feel bad for what she saw and heard from her father as he fought with her stepmother, but in some ways I’m glad that she saw things on her own. So when she asks questions of her mother (who doesn’t lie about what happened) she knows she isn’t just saying it to say mean things about her father. Cassie is a very smart girl and is starting to make the connections on the things he says compared to the things he does.

I’m just glad that she feels comfortable enough to contact me on her own when she needs to. I don’t get to see her or her brothers & sister enough and that bothers me.

I just hope that Heather, Charles, & Cheyanne feel the same way.  I’m missing them. I look into the spare room and expect to see them. I try not to think about them too much, because it brings me down when I think about missing them.

I partly figured out why I have such a hard time getting things done while set up in the office. It is because Harold wants to play catch up with programs on TV and I can’t concentrate when he does that……gggrrr I want to get work done and he wants to watch TV. I have shows that I’m addicted to, but when I want to work I just want music. Actually, if I had to choose between TV and music, music would win nearly every time.

I think I also just hate the feeling of being cooped up. It drives me nuts.

So if I want to get things done, I’m just going to have to set up else where. =)

I need to actually try and get some letters done. The bulk of the letters are from my blog. So that part is easy enough. I just haven’t done it since April………lol

Current Location: patio

Current Mood: busy

Current Music: Against All Odds – Phil Collins

Today was ok at work. I always feel as if I’m walking on egg shells.

All I want to do is go in and do my job and go home. I like my job, just not some of the issues that have been coming up & it is taking it’s toll. Where I no longer want to do anything related to work on my own time. I use to bring things home to work on, well I quite doing that at the beginning of May when I felt my caring wasn’t appreciated. And then when family came down, I just didn’t have the time.

We don’t have kids by choice, but when I get my mothering instinct going I’ve always taken it out at work, on my job and the folks I work with after I’ve driven Harold nuts with my pestering. But my uneasiness at work has forced me take stock of my priorities in my life at this conjunction. I have way too much that I need to do at home. I have letters to write to my family, I have work that I need to do with Harold, & there are things that I’m debating on learning so I can help. Not sure if it would be something that I would like to do. But even if I don’t do that, there is so much I would like to learn with some reading. I have a bunch of books waiting to be read and some political mags I would like to start getting, if I had time to read. It takes me about a week and half just to read my one Time mag.

I care about my job when I’m there, I have no problem staying late or coming in early, but on my own time, I want nothing to do with it any more. I have things outside of my job that are a hell lot more important in my life then this job that is for sure. The stress and aggravation isn’t worth it.

So now I just go in, do my thing and get out as soon as I can.  Right I have until next Thursday for my next day off.
Right now we are watching “Broken Trail” it was on a few months ago and we are finally watching it. I love Robert Duvall’s westerns. But one of my favorite movies of his isn’t a western, it is “Secondhand Lions”. I guess I just love character actors.

I finally got all my emails & PMs caught up. Thankfully. It helped that the weather wasn’t cooperating, neither yesterday nor today. =( I wanted to spend it part of it getting some sun, swimming in between working while set up on the patio. But no, it got overcastted and storm clouds.

We did get some swimming in the morning today. It was sunny and hot @ 10am so if the clouds hadn’t moved in it would’ve been much hotter out then it is right now.

I did treat myself to getting a facial at the spa and getting my nails done yesterday. =)

Overall I’ve been doing ok.

Sometimes I’m fine and then the mood swing……depression or anger. I see my mother in me…..icks! But I so want to stick with natural things. It is bad enough that I have to take sinus meds to breathe some days.

Who knows……..I still need to get time to find a new doctor, but I so don’t want to go through that process. I have a problem with having a doctor that smokes and doesn’t know what lock jaw is?

Well, since it is overcast I better start on the receipts. If I get those done, then I can start on redesigning my blog with a clear conscious. =)